So today I had to take my car in, because my fuel pump has been recalled… Damn ford. Anyway, I was in the van from the dealership which was taking me to work and ended up having the weirdest conversation with the van driver about Omaha.

The other guy in the car was talking to the driver, and I was in the backseat of the van. They were discussing the stupid snow, and Passenger Guy said that he could never get used to the snow – he was from New York but had joined the army to get away from the cold. Moved all around the world, was stationed in Germany, fell in love with a girl from Omaha, and that, as they say, was that. He and his wife and their sons have lived here for 18 years now.

So Driver Man said, “Yeah, once you live in Omaha, you can leave, but you’ll always come back”. I was kind of thinking about that – it seems a little true. When I was in high school, I used to say that I was going to leave and would never come back. I was just so fed up and bored with living here and wanted to see everything & experience everything. I loved Milwaukee, but it was still Midwestern and there were still new places to explore and I had this fascination with the coasts. Either one, really, I wasn’t being particular.

I moved to Hartford, CT. And I hated it. And I moved to Springfield, MA, and I hated that too. I was a little shocked, I think – there is this impression when you’re living in the Midwest, especially growing up here, that the entire eastern seaboard is this glamorous, exciting place. New York is exciting and interesting; so is Boston, I would assume so is DC although I have never been there. But man, smallish kind of crappy towns exist in every single state, in every region of the country.

And here I am again, and who knows where I’ll go next really… a lot of that depends on school and jobs and whatnot. But it really is true, what everyone says about Omaha: it’s not that bad. It’s not that great either, but then again, there aren’t a lot of places that ARE that great. And their greatness is offset by the fact that it seems to be kind of a pain in the ass to live in a great place – traffic, high cost of living, crowds… You have access to great and amazing things, but you give up other things to have that access.

Last night on Sex and the City, Carrie was in Paris with the Russian. And she sees a bunch of friends laughing and conversing, and she calls Miranda and basically says that she has been lonely and that she misses her friends, which is silly because she’s been waiting her entire life to be in Paris. And man, I can’t even imagine how much that would suck – to be seeing amazing things and want to share them with your friends but to not be able to do it. Not really, at least, because it’s not the same on the phone.

I’m not sure what the point of this entry is. Maybe the point is that if you have friends, where you live isn’t so important… and that truthfully, I am getting more and more to the point where I’m not sure I want to start over again. It is fucking HARD to not have any friends. And frankly, it is starting to seem realistic that maybe I could deal with staying here. My family is here, the boyfriend’s family is here, we both have a bunch of friends by now – if Mitch & Naomi end up staying, it would honestly be very hard to leave. Same with Amanda & Ryan for curt. I just don’t know.